What Project Management Taught Me About Letting Go

Published On:

February 5, 2026

What Project Management Taught Me About Letting Go

Early in my career, I believed good project management meant staying close to everything, every detail, every risk, every conversation. Control felt synonymous with responsibility. If I stayed close enough, checked often enough, and verified thoroughly, the project would stay on track.

Over time, I learned that this approach doesn’t scale. And more importantly, it doesn’t build trust.

As projects grow in complexity and teams become more cross-functional, the role of the project manager quietly shifts. The work becomes less about controlling the details and more about creating the conditions for others to perform at their best. That shift requires something that feels counterintuitive at first: letting go.

Letting Go as a Deliberate Trust Strategy

In new teams and unfamiliar environments, trust rarely exists by default. It has to be built and often, the project manager has to move first.

For me, that meant demonstrating trust before it was fully earned. A risky choice, particularly when delivery timelines were tight and context was still forming.

Letting go of control didn’t mean disengaging. It meant resisting the instinct to verify every data point, double-check every update, or triangulate information behind the scenes. Instead, I chose to take information as it was shared and to hold individuals accountable when that information changed.

When updates shifted, the response wasn’t accusation, but inquiry. Help me understand what changed.

That question created space for honesty, surfaced real risks earlier, and reinforced that trust and accountability are not opposing forces.

This kind of trust takes time. It’s built through consistency, follow-through, and fair challenge not through blind optimism or constant oversight.

Control Feels Safe. Trust Creates Movement

Holding on tightly can feel like good leadership, especially under pressure. Control gives the illusion of certainty. But in complex projects, certainty is rarely available and excessive control often slows decision-making, discourages ownership, and keeps risks hidden longer than necessary.

Letting go creates space. Space for teams to step up. Space for decisions to be made closer to the work. Space for issues to surface earlier, not later.

It also shifts the project manager’s role from task chaser to decision shaper, from managing activities to guiding judgment.

Accountability Without Fear

Letting go does not mean lowering standards. In fact, trust only works when accountability is clear. Commitments still matter. Changes still need to be explained. Outcomes still belong to the team.

The difference is in how those conversations happen.

When accountability is paired with curiosity instead of suspicion, people are more likely to speak up early, admit uncertainty, and ask for help before problems escalate. Over time, this builds a culture where transparency becomes the norm not because it’s enforced, but because it’s safe.

The Quiet Work of Leadership

Letting go is not a single decision. It’s a practice.

It requires the discipline to tolerate discomfort, resist micromanagement, and accept that progress doesn’t always look busy. It also requires patience and trust built this way compounds slowly, but meaningfully.

The more senior the project work becomes, the quieter the leadership often looks. Fewer interventions. Better questions. Clearer expectations.

In project management, holding on can feel responsible. Letting go can feel risky.

But over time, I’ve learned this:

Trust isn’t the absence of control; it’s the discipline to replace surveillance with accountability.

And in complex projects, that discipline is often what creates the most momentum.

PML would like to extend a huge thank you to Shiamala Paramasivam for sharing her knowledge and wisdom with the PML community! Learn more about her below and reach out to connect!

About the Author

Shiamala Paramasivam, PMP®, is an Innovation & Commercialization Program and Project Manager with extensive experience leading complex product launches, renovation initiatives, and cost-savings programs within the CPG industry. She brings a strategic, human-centered approach to project delivery, with a particular interest in prioritization, trust-based leadership, and navigating ambiguity with clarity. Beyond her professional work, Shiamala continues to refine her communication craft through formal writing and speaking training, and enjoys macro photography as a creative counterbalance that sharpens observation and perspective. She is an active contributor to the project management community through writing, mentoring, and volunteer leadership.

Connect with Shiamala directly on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shiamalap/

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